“Faith is a footbridge that you don’t know will hold you up over the chasm until you’re forced to walk out not it.” Nicolas Wolterstorff
What do you do when things don’t go the way you wanted, and now you’re in a mental, emotional, and spiritual funk? How do you escape the frustration, discouragement, or disappointment that feel so powerful in both the small annoyances and larger trials of the day? How do you get out of your own head or not be ruled by your feelings so you can instead seek, trust, and walk with God in the troubles of the day?
Earlier today, I felt frustrated and disappointed, and then I felt frustrated and discouraged because I couldn’t shake those feelings. (I’ll share more of the details later or below in this post.) What God nudged me toward was I needed to choose trusting and resting in Him rather than remain restless and frustrated over my circumstances. There were two parts in this movement toward experiencing God’s peace. I needed to shift my attention away from undesirable circumstances and onto the glorious God, and I needed to choose to trust in the objective truths of who God is rather than be ruled by the subjective feelings in my circumstances.
Much of the Christian life is learning to live in the tension of not feeling like trusting or praising God but still choosing to trust and praise God. You might feel frustrated, disappointed, and discontent, and yet part of how we respond to these normal experiences is by choosing to still trust that God is good, present, and at work for my good even in this situation.
The Proper Role of Both Faith and Feelings
This is part of how we grow in not being ruled by our feelings—a significant struggle outside and inside the church—but submitting our feelings to truth. (This isn’t because feelings, emotions, or experiences are unimportant, but it’s because they are deceptive, fleeting, and unreliable as a guide and authority). [1]
Feelings can be like the loud person in a room who thinks by talking over or more often than everyone else they will get their way. Feelings shout in our internal board rooms. But part of maturity, both as an adult and a Christian, is sometimes telling our feelings to pipe down so the truth can speak up and add some discernment and perspective to the situation. This isn’t a way of suppressing or silencing our feelings, but it’s how we bring our sometimes-wishy-washy feelings under the always faithful and firm authority of God’s Word.
I’m trying to teach my second-grade daughter this truth. She might feel grumpy, but she doesn’t have to choose to be grumpy. She might think her brother isn’t being nice, but sometimes she just doesn’t like what he’s doing and is misreading his actions. She might have reasons to grumble, but she also has more reasons to give thanks. She might not feel like doing what’s right or responding the right way, but she can choose to do so because she knows it is right.
This is part of growing up, not letting your feelings hold authority over your desires, thoughts, and behaviors but being able to override those feelings when you know they’re misleading you or keeping you from what is true, good, and beautiful.
This is why we choose to trust God and praise God even in moments or days where we don’t feel like it. Not only because it’s right and God is worthy, but it’s through the act of leaning into the truths of God’s Word, His promises, His character and attributes, and His faithfulness (in Scripture and my past) that we then start to align our feelings with the truth. And sometimes, even if the feelings don’t come, it’s still good to trust and praise God because that’s what Christians do. I don’t let the clouds convince me the sun isn’t out today, nor do I let today’s troubles or momentary feelings convince me God is no longer good, loving, wise, or sovereign. I go back to what I know to be true (seen in Scripture and experienced over the years) even when I can’t really see or feel it right now.
Biblical Examples of Choosing to Trust and Praise God
This is modeled throughout the psalms. Whether it’s David or someone else, they walk through discouragements, pain, threats, and fears. They’re honest about both what they face and what they feel. They pray their confusion, hurt, and pain back to God in lament rather than suppressing it, venting to others about it, or turning away from God because of it. But the psalmists also choose to speak truth into their heart (and feelings), and they choose to trust and praise God even in circumstances and moments where they might not feel like it.[2]
The classic example of this is Psalm 42, where the psalmist speaks to his discouraged soul (instead of listening to it). He asks, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” He then speaks truth to himself and chooses to hope and praise God. “Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation 6 and my God” (Ps. 42:5-6).
We need to speak truth to our feelings rather than only listening to those feelings.[3] But we also choose to trust and praise God even when we’re having a bad day, wrestling to experience our faith, or feel frustrated and discontent with our situation.
This is the tension of living the Christian life in a broken world. The Bible highlights this tension in words like but, still, even when, and yet.
Sata In his excellent book on lament, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, Mark Vroegop writes, “Words like but, however, and yet mark the intentional shift from the cause of the lament to trusting in who God is, what he has done, and the promises of Scripture.”[4] These words are both a stabilizing anchor and a galvanizing wind. They help us stay steady in the storm, but they also push us to move forward into a place of resting in, trusting in, hoping in, and praising God.
n pummeled Job with a flurry of punches to the gut, and yet, both God and Job’s wife speak to how Job “still holds fast his integrity” and faith rather than curses God (Job 2:3, 9). He still trusts and blesses God even when hard things come.
David can be surrounded by enemies, outmatched and overwhelmed, and yet rather than giving in to the fear and worry rising with him, he chooses to put his faith and confidence in God. He lives in the land of yet. “Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident” (Ps. 27:3). My situation is hard, the news seems bad, I’m so frustrated with what today looks like, I’m overwhelmed by what’s on my plate, and YET I will put my hope and trust in the God who is with me and at work for me.
Another psalmist speaks about how his enemies are out to get him. They speak evil of him, trash talk him behind his back, and throw him under the bus around others. They seek his downfall and want him to fail. They attack him and attempt to hurt him. While this takes place the psalmist prays that God protects and delivers him, but in the meantime, he will choose to hope in and praise the God who is his refuge and help. That but makes all the difference. “But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more” (Ps. 71:14).
Mark Vroegop talks about the power of “yet” from David’s painful experience in Psalm 22.
“In his deep pain and his sense of abandonment, he anchors his soul to who God is and what he has done. Later we’ll see David make his bold requests despite the waves of questions and the rising tide of frustrations. His complaints are not cul-de-sacs of sorrow but bridges that lead him to God’s character. This is why we love the Psalms, especially lament psalms! They anchor us to the yet of God’s character.
In my study of lament, I’ve come to love the word yet. It marks the place in the journey where pain and belief coexist. It is how we gain the confidence to ask boldly, despite the sorrow and grief we feel. Yet means that I choose to keep asking God for help, to cry out to him for my needs, even when the pain of life is raw. Yet reminds us that sorrow doesn’t have to yield before we ask God for help. Part of the grace of lament is the way it invites us to pray boldly even when we are bruised badly.
Is there anything you have stopped asking God to do in your life? Has the pain of circumstances or have the disappointments of unanswered prayers led you to a resigned silence as to what you want to see God do? Maybe yet can become your new favorite word in the Bible. Perhaps it could be the bridge that leads you to make your request with a new level of confidence.”[5]
Mark’s book on lament is a helpful guide for how to live in the tension of feeling pain and yet offering praise, with prayers of lament being one of the gifts God gives us for walking in such shaky terrain. His quote emphasizes the power and help we find in living in this “bridge” of yet because it allows us to be honest about what we feel or think while still clinging to the truths of who God is, even in hard circumstances. It reminds us that as we live in that land or bridge of yet, we choose to lean into the truths of God’s Word, character, and promises.
My Own Frustrated Feelings
This morning I felt “frustrated,” which is my way of minimizing the sinful anger and discontentment over some of my circumstances. Part of my frustration stems from my idols, particularly the desires for everything to be easier than it is and then the desire to have control (thinking that then I can make things better or easier). When the day is hard or discouraging, or when the days turn into seasons, I often gravitate towards these idols (false gods) of comfort and control. The more I give in to the lie that I need comfort or control or am ruled by sinful demand for these things, the more frustrated, annoyed, impatient, discontent, and angry I become at both the small and big things in life that rock my boat. That’s what I feel. It’s not pretty. Sometimes I’m mad that I’m mad about these things, which feels like a spreading fire you can’t put out because there’s so much oxygen in the air.
Thankfully, over the years God has revealed these idols to me enough times that I’m a bit faster in recognizing them for what they are. I’ve also learned to not trust these thoughts and feelings. I know sometimes they’re misguided out of anything from selfishness to false expectations to unrealistic demands. Part of what I need to respond the right way in these moments is to fill my heart and mind with what is true. I especially need reminders from God’s Word of who He is, what is true of Him, and what He’s promised to be and do for me. This helps me recognize my sinful response and confess it, but it also gets my eyes off my unwanted circumstances and onto the God over them who is sovereign, wise, present, gracious, and good. This helps me trust Him, find hope in Him, seek His help (with a fresh dose humility), and then to praise Him. As I set my heart and mind on God, it helps me respond in better ways in my actions but also it often helps me think and feel a bit more in line with what is true right now considering who God is and what He’s promised to be and do for me.
Like a gentle but wise Father, God reminded me this morning to stop letting frustration and disappointment rule in my heart and to let trust and thanksgiving rule instead. The needed reminder came through the word “still” in the song, “Lord from Sorrows Deep I Call”[6] based on Psalm 42. I recommend reading the full lyrics here, but here is the first verse and the chorus.
“Lord, from sorrows deep I call
When my hope is shaken
Torn and ruined from the fall
Hear my desperation
For so long I’ve pled and prayed
God come to my rescue
Even so the thorn remains
Still my heart will praise You.
And oh, my soul put your hope in God
My help, my rock, I will praise Him
Sing, oh, sing through the raging storm
You’re still my God, my salvation.”
Live in the Land of Yet I Choose…
We probably need to live in this land of yet, still, and but much more than we realize. My guess is every single day you experience trials, disappointment, frustration, and hard things. These troubles in life might be big or small, but they’re always there in a sin-cursed world (and in my sin-cursed body, mind, and heart). We can either stay stuck in a land of grumbling, disappointment, and frustration, or we can cross the bridge of yet/still/but and live in a land of trusting, hoping in, and praising God. We do this not when the trials and troubles go away, but by choosing to cling to and rehearse what is true from Scripture and choosing to trust and praise God. I might not what He’s doing, but I do know He is good, wise, purposeful, loving, gracious, present with me, and is working everything to do good for me and in me.
Footnotes
[1] One reason this thought might feel difficult and even strange is because today we’re almost entirely led by the authority of our feelings. And not just outside the church, but inside it too. The preaching or worship (singing) were good today if I felt something. My time in the Bible or prayer was significant only if I felt something. One of the most common emails I get from readers is that they doubt God’s love because they say they’re not feeling his love. Feelings and emotions matter, and they can be good things in the Christian life that we give thanks for when they’re present. We can even ask for and seek to experience or feel things as part of our faith. What you feel is real (just ask Sven and Kristoff from Frozen), but your feelings and emotions are not authoritative. Feelings and emotions can be deceptive and manipulated, they are not reliable and consistent, and they can easily lead us astray.
This is part of why we submit our subjective feelings to the objective and authoritative Word of God (the Bible). If God says He is good, trustworthy, holy, wise, or loving, then these are true whether I feel like they’re true right now. This is true about God whether I’m experiencing those realities or not. I might want to experience or feel something, and can pursue that, but part of maturing is knowing not to trust your feelings or live for experiences alone. My children need fed whether it’s an experience or just a task, and they need to be given patient love even if I don’t feel patient and loving when they spill their food all over the floor that I just cleaned up five minutes ago. So also, as a Christian, reading the Bible, praying, singing, and gathering with God’s people, these are all good and commanded things, whether I experience something or not. God can be teaching me things and working in my heart whether I feel it or not. Choosing to act selflessly rather than selfishly might not feel great to me every time, but that’s because I’m selfish (but know this ultimately isn’t good or right, and so shouldn’t be obeyed). What is true and what is good must triumph over what feels true or good to me in a specific moment. And yes, this is why we need the Bible to help us know what is true, good, and beautiful and so we can then submit our thoughts, desires, and actions under the authority of God’s Word.
[2] For more on talking to yourself and fighting worry, see my post, “10 Ways to Battle Worry,” https://indycrowe.com/2021/08/10/ways-to-battle-worry/
[3] We should listen to what we feel and think, not because they’re always right but because they help us sense what’s going on in our heart and where the truth of God’s Word needs applied. The goal isn’t suppression of emotions and feelings, or ignorance of what’s really going on in our head and heart, but it’s recognizing and reflecting on these things so they lead us back to God and His Word.
[4] [4] Mark Vroegop, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament (Wheaton: Crossway, 2019), 76.
[5] Mark Vroegop, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament (Wheaton: Crossway, 2019), 59.
[6] “Lord from Sorrows Deep I Call (Psalm 42),” lyrics by Matt Boswell and Matt Papa. https://www.mattpapa.com/songs/lord-from-sorrows-deep-i-call
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