The Father’s Love in Disciplining (Part 7)

In the first post on the Father’s love I introduced both the challenge and the importance of seeing God the Father as loving. As we meditate on the biblical truths of the depths of his love and begin resting in that love we will be refreshed with newfound freedom and security to keep drawing near. Therefore, thinking rightly of God our Father is not just a matter of having our theological ducks in a row but it’s a game changer in living the Christian life. We will consider seven NT examples of how God puts his love on display for us, wanting us to know about it and be wrapped up in it.

1) The Father’s love for us is nowhere more clearly seen than in the sending of his only Son—freely, unprompted, undeservedly—to reconcile us back to himself.

2) The Father’s love for us is seen in that Jesus is sent to reveal the Father to us. The Father desires to be known and understood.

3) The Father’s love can be seen in the friendly and familial vocabulary describing a believer’s relationship with God. He is not only our God, he is our Father.

4) The Father expresses his love in the comfort he gives, and even in the fact he calls us to find our comfort in his fatherly embrace.

5) The Father loves us by giving good gifts. He enjoys us enjoying him as we enjoy his gifts.

6) The Father’s love is seen in the making and fulfilling of promises to his people.

7) The Father loves us not despite disciplining his children but through disciplining his children. I know this point is a hard sell. Even as Christians who believe God’s Word, we often struggle to comprehend how discipline can actually be a demonstration of God’s goodness. We might even go so far as to acknowledge it’s for our good but can it really be categorized as a proof of God’s love? I think the Bible and our experience both tell us yes.

Maybe you had a parent say something like, “this is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you,” and as a child you would have been more than happy to trade places. You might have experienced discipline that wasn’t fair or was done more out of punishment and rage than discipline and control. God’s discipline is never done in a fit of rage. His discipline is a calm but firm correction done out of love. He has our best interest in mind. God never rejects or punishes us, but rather, he teaches as he disciplines.

There are a number of verses in the Psalms pointing to the instructive and corrective value in discipline (Ps. 94:12; 119:67, 75). Paul says that through discipline we’re protected from pursuing our destruction (I Cor. 11:32). Several Proverbs pick up on this theme and exhort parents to discipline their children if they love them. “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (Prov. 13:24; cf. 23:13; 29:17).

The NT actually connects discipline to love at least twice to help cement in our mind that God’s discipline when we sin proves he loves us (Heb. 12:3-11; Rev. 3:19). He will do the hard things good parents do who care for their children, exchanging a few hard moments of discipline for a life of walking in righteousness. Let’s consider these verses from Hebrews that connect discipline and love.
“And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as son? ‘My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.’ It is for discipline you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:5-11).

The fact that God disciplines us should encourage us just how much he cares for and loves us. Knowing his discipline comes from his goodness and wisdom, we can trust that he chooses the discipline that we most need. Just like children respond to rebuke in different ways and a parent treats each child based upon their unique personality and needs, so our Father knows what discipline we most need and can handle. The depth and breadth of God’s love encompasses loving discipline as well as gifts of grace. God disciplines us because he loves us and we should regard such discipline as the evidence he will never give up on us or leave us to ourselves. He disciplines the one he loves and his discipline proves he loves.

Earthly parents who love their kids discipline them because they know their role as a parent is to teach and instruct them. The children must learn right from wrong and they must learn what will harm versus what will help them. A parent will discipline the child who tries to put a fork in the light socket, walks into the road when they shouldn’t, skips school, or makes destructive choices. No good parent delights in the discipline itself, but they do it knowing it has a good effect.

There’s a beautiful scene in the television show Parenthood that illustrated this for me. There’s a mother and father who adopt a young boy. Early on he doesn’t feel accepted and continues to misbehave. The mother thinks they should keep looking the other way but the father reminds her they’re his parents now. He’s their child so they need to treat him like family, not like a guest or stranger. Since he’s now their boy and they want what’s best for him they make the choice to explain what he’s done wrong and let him know it’s not okay. God treats us not as strangers or guests who he has no relationship with but as a father who loves his children deeply.

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